I Think Maple Street’s Bugged BOOK REVIEW

If you don’t read anything else, with the way things are going in the world today… Remember, The Maggot on Maple Street for your bug-out bag. It will remind you that there was once intelligent life on this planet. One of the many things Courtenay Schembri Gray is trying to convey. Well, that’s amongst many. And did I say many other things going on in her head? Brains! Indeed if the zombies haven’t gotten to you yet, you still have. That is if you’re reading Courtenay’s book; Ms. Gray, if you’re nasty… indeed, some elements of this work. You’re warned.

Long story short, or compilation, which it is. It’s a collection of poetry from a quite profound young writer. Not to sound cliché. But each and every poem really makes you think. That’s both a good and a bad thing. But more on that in a moment. Such a mind. Courtenay’s talent is immeasurable for such a small work. But if there were more to it. And yes, I have read other titles of hers. Such as Cherry. I suppose she can’t give it away all at once. Such experiences and realizations. Which should drive us all while. You’ll see.

That is if you’re lucky enough to read this work. I imagine “read” would be much too small a word for it, like something out of the movie “The Menu.” When it comes to writing… You do not only read her poetry. You imagine, dream, you relish every single word. Again there is far more to it than that, and again if you will give me the time. I ask you to share some of your time with The Maggot on Maple Street. Hell! The title alone asks for that and far more of us. I have discovered that myself.

It’s not as if Courtenay is asking you to take this journey alone, as she, too, is on a path of discovery of her own. To be on the same road. And yet we all end up in different places. Or maybe we like where we are and choose to stay, as The Maggot on Maple Street will remain with me for quite some time. There’s indeed so much to keep in mind while reading it. The same can be said for her, which is why she chose to share her thoughts with the world. The Maggot on Maple Street.

If you have stuck with me until now… no spoilers. These are only my own personal opinions. Yes! Other than this. What are you waiting for? Go buy this book today. Yesterday, if you have a time machine. My own idea. Courtenay takes me to some strange places in musings.

The two poems that garnered my full attention from the get-go were “Mother Cauldron” and “Saturn (De)vours.” There was a line that immediately gripped me in “Mother Cauldron.” And again, the mere titles of these works will give you pause. And then it’s as if you’re running through the words, and you do catch them. Only you don’t know if you’re winning or losing. Or if the writer herself is in her thoughts of how she sees, well herself. This is the same way you see “Saturn (De)vours.” And maybe that’s it. Those two poems were when I first started seeing the writer. And not only the feelings and emotions she was invoking. Now is this a good or bad thing? I don’t rightly know. Yet as for me. I indeed liked seeing the writer and not only the dream that she has shared now. But the mix in everything…

In every other work of Courtenay’s, you’re looking to recapture that moment of her looking at herself in the mirror. This is where Courtenay truly shines, to be quite honest. Having kept up with her other work. It’s the difference between working on herself and “working for the man every night and day.” The fact that most of her work falls into the former is pretty brilliant. Finding those truths that she has discovered about herself. You can only wonder if she, too, stopped. Like you will find yourself doing as you read through her poems and go, “WHOA!” I can’t say how many times I did that myself. Sometimes you may even need to close the book and let the ideas settle in your mind. Just for a bit. One of the reasons it took me a bit to go through such a small book. It’s that damn good.

It’s that damn good, and other things you will say about The Maggot on Maple Street. What, is the title too long? And if I tried quoting Courtenay herself, I think we would be here all day. And I could be reading her book again and again. Um, I guess?

And that brings us to the good, the bad, and the ugly. Well, not really, as I gave this five stars but then again… I’m pretty picky when it comes to books. So I wouldn’t exactly call myself a softie. Not when it comes to this kind of work, ha-ha.

As I’ve already said, the best part of her work is when she’s more or less talking to herself than it seems to an audience. You can tell every poem is like that, but you can see the difference in the wording. It may just be beauty is in the eye of the beholder and all that to be sure. Which is something that Courtenay herself is trying to see. Everything can’t be beautiful, and every poem of hers… As a collective, you see the best. But here and there. Sit at your typewriter, keyboard, pen, and paper; what have you and bleed, right? Courtenay does plenty of that and more. It may even scare you in places. Or invoke other emotions and the thoughts of other bodily fluids. And the experience or lack thereof that this writer may have in her own life. Coming to such things, um, maybe.

And again, I say experience. I’m not exactly a genius or anything but with Courtenay. Besides looking up her other works, may I suggest you invest in a dictionary and thesaurus? Am I being overdramatic… in a way? But as any guy can tell you, you’ll be on cloud nine and focused at the same time, and then suddenly, it’s like, huh, after a moment. Keep in mind; that this is poetry and not prose. So there is no warning between particular states of thinking or being. But I can promise you’ll stick around for the whole ride. Courtenay’s poetry can be a bit of a mindfuck for the best and worse. There’s no question about that. Is there a better word than that? Well, I lack this author’s vision. I have read her entire work and enjoyed, studied, and liked it. Something or other…

It is worth the read, though. And for everyone telling me to tell my friends. I can honestly say, at the very least, I have shared the name Courtenay Schembri Gray with some I know. And I’ve said what I’ve said to you and everyone. I Think Maple Street’s Bugged.

Raphael’s Redemptive Rage Ravishment Review “Book Review”

“Chastity will cure Lust.” Raphael

“When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put aside childish things.” ― 1 Corinthians 13:11 (Bible)

Well, when I was a child, the name Raphael meant one thing. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles though I always thought of myself as more of a Donatello. Until I got clued in, I wasn’t that smart, so my thoughts on Tillie Cole’s book Raphael? I can tell you I liked it, and since I’m not one to waste time, I gave it five stars. Of course, that’s not why you’re here. It’s not for my philosophy on life or art either. So I promise you I’ll do what I can to explain the novel. How dare I, but okay, SIGH.

Raphael is the sequel to Tillie Cole’s novel The Fallen: Genesis. That’s the prequel to the Deadly Virtues series. I take it to mean that each story will be another of the Seven Deadly Sins. I know Ker Dukey is doing something like that too, but that’s neither here nor there. As far as Tillie Cole, I’ve read three of her tales. Sick Fux is still my favorite, but Raphael is in second place, no doubt. If you know my biases, you will understand why. I should add I’m not one for religion even though I am hoping for the second circle if there is a Hell. What guy doesn’t and you’ll have to excuse me, I lost myself in Far Cry 5 for a while. Is that why this review took so long? On that note, Raphael is full of lust with some madness and mayhem that I won’t give away until the end. So the first book in the series covered Gabriel; this is more of Raphael’s story.

“Hardships aged the soul even if the skin your body wore told another story.” Raphael

Now living up to the promises of the first. We see Raphael has come into his own as a man. Doing what seems to come naturally, he has become a proficient killer and is sent on the hunt by his big brother. Again there isn’t much bloodshed until such a point and time. And that’s because he comes face to face with his little rose. Maria, a nun in training who finds herself in the wrong place at the right time. A monster, a miracle, but a must-have for Raphael. Can’t say I fault the man at all because I liked her too. Now, I didn’t like the Brotherhood, which makes them the best kind of villains. If you told me such a group existed in reality, I wouldn’t argue. Oh yeah, they do, they’re called the Catholic Church. I also admire an author that will take a shot at the “faithful” at any time.

I am a fan of the His Dark Materials series of books, well the three I read. Haven’t I come up since then reading these types of stories? I guess you shouldn’t answer that. There are also a few excellent touches of BDSM in Raphael as far as Maria’s neck is concerned. She also comes with quite a dark past that she doesn’t want to look “BACK” on; that’s a hint. It is pretty gruesome. Yet nobody gets into this expecting everything to be sweetness and light. For me, it was another incredible take in an ongoing erotica genre motif.

“What must it be like to live a life of such darkness?” ― Tillie Cole.

For the most part, the novel speaks about Raphael and Maria. The two protagonists, a lust story that turns into a love story. I say lust gets a bad rap, but again it’s the second circle but the first where any punishment gets dealt out. We see that from Raphael and the other Fallen members. And The Brotherhood, as they begin to launch a counterstrike. I was quite excited to see how far this war would go. As anyone could have guessed with Raphael and Maria’s future trials. Their tribulations.

Except for being a killer, Raphael is a pretty decent human being. A man with a fetish for some lengthy hair, a lean neck, and long stem roses. He also frequents sex clubs. For ravishing good times, to reveal his psyche and his revelations. I’m not sure if they received mentions in the first book, but it’s what Gabriel has named his assignments. You see that in Raphael that every target is tailor-made for the brother who goes. I’ve heard of honor amongst thieves. And that was something that disappointed me about his character. I swear I turned lawyer as soon as “it” went down but still for Raphael to pull such a stunt. Yes, ladies, all men are that dumb when it comes to a particular girl. Another way of saying it would be, am I my brother’s keeper. Yes, I am, although I could name a few celebrities I know here or there.

“You have taken everything we are, the blood oath, our brotherhood, our commandments, and turned your back on us. All for a woman.” Tillie Cole

Maria, on the other hand, was portrayed perfectly. The naïve young woman with a past, a promise, and a pact with the Devil to boot. She is Raphael’s fantasy made flesh, and from the moment he sets eyes on her, they were both goners. The only problems she had were all the results of men. From the monsters who handled her to those, she found herself with eventually. Well, maybe not, but that’s for another story, I suppose. Maria made the perfect submissive. How it makes you think about religious women in general. She had daddy issues, but also the rest of the family suffered the same fate. The family issue is better, well no. Could we call it a suspension of disbelief with some of the calls she made in this tale? I’ll say so, but her love for Raphael, I swear if a woman found me so captivating, marriage wouldn’t be far behind.

Still, Raphael swore himself to his brothers and Maria well? There are reasons I don’t trust the church anymore, and no, I was never a catholic. I felt terrible for The Fallen, and it was upsetting that Maria gave in to how she lived such a life for so long. Together though, against the world, well, that’s the sort of love I know we all want. One more reason I read these types of titles, oh, and seeing The Brotherhood and The Fallen face off. Was that a spoiler, well I hope you’re ready for more, or you could stop right here if you like.

“Sin is simply due to the absence of love.” Raphael

Five stars all the way around and not only for sex. Yes, there’s horrific violence. Of course, none of that was aimed at Maria; did I say that out loud. She signed up for it when it came to Raphael, which wasn’t violence but their consensual kink. Right up until the end of the title.

“He was a sinner. He was going to hell. But he was sure this was how heaven would feel. Warmth and bliss and whole-body pleasure.” ― Raphael by Tillie Cole

Okay, OFFICIAL SPOILER WARNING, are you ready, are you? The sex is top-notch, but it’s the last bit when Maria is looking at death in the face. She wants to fulfill Raphael’s most fantastic fantasy. To be honest, I have told women some of mine. 50% of the time, it works every time, haha. Maria lives and “dies” his. If you don’t literally see that scene when you’re reading it, the fight with the Brotherhood. The Fallen standing together, how many movies wish they could set the stage so well. Puts me in The Matrix or John Wick, state of mind. To quote, Keanu Reeves ahem “GUNS, lots of guns” and other assorted hardware. At the very end, when Maria takes her place amongst The Fallen, how I’ve needed a sequel since yesterday. Now, I doubt they will ever make this a movie… did I mention the sex? Anyway, Tillie Cole has an excellent soundtrack.

So seeing as how I’ve given this novel a five-star rating, there can’t be anything wrong with it? Once again, I mention the lack of a sequel, and I’ve only read three titles from this author. Sick Fux will always be my favorite but never say never. Where could the author go with The Fallen? However, I would have thought there would have been more of a trial aspect. When Raphael broke the rules of The Fallen. That’s not a criticism, but I was already getting my arguments set up when it came to how they operated. If anything, it was a tad glossed over, um yep. It would have also been cool to hear about the rest of the Revelations. But again, there was a huge battle. There’s also the fact that it is set up ready for a sequel. I know I’m repeating myself but come on, we’re all still waiting and hoping.

If you’re what I think of as a “Holy Roller,” you’ll hate this book. I’m not one for hymns or spiritual music, but I would never have given it a chance if it wasn’t for this book. Yes, even I will listen to “Abide With Me.” You can even see the scenes in your mind in correlation to the soundtrack. Somehow I remained amazed that women like stories like this? Once again, not a criticism, only being a black man in America and I would never meet a girl like Maria. It’s like women searching for Prince Charming on the Disney Channel. Yes, the narrative is fictional, but one wishes. Interested, I hope so because this is a must-read. The type of story that stays with you and my word, how long has it taken me to get this full review out? I guess I couldn’t keep it to myself any longer. My idea of Raphael’s Redemptive Rage Ravishment Review

News of The Fallen: Genesis BOOK REVIEW

I read a meme the other day from “The Onion.” They are having trouble writing stories more idiotic than reality. The actual news isn’t helping either. I’ve also read the “His Dark Materials” series. Wow if someone didn’t have a beef with the catholic church or religion in general. Back in my YA novel days, so move over Mr. Pullman because Tillie Cole has come to town. The first book I read from her “Sick Fux” was a home run, and so was “The Fallen: Genesis.” Okay one tiny beef but Five Stars all the way, though I had to give it four in truth.

Tillie Cole has never been one to shy away from the taboo. Now it takes a certain kind of mind to get into this writer’s material. I have good friends, bought one a copy of Sick Fux and recommended her to one more. To this day I can’t tell you what the two of them think. When I started reading The Fallen: Genesis, I didn’t quite know what to expect. Considering I’m reading “Raphael” now should be proof enough, I enjoy her titles. You can say though they are like the news. At least you won’t cry, and you’ll want to stay lost in the story. Not as sexy as my last read from her mind you. There also seems to be a pattern in some way. Like I said taboo, broken kids, evil men, and a bloodbath with a promise of more to come. The wrong choice of words, hmm but we’ll get to that. I won’t even give you the stop me if you’ve heard this part babble.

We have a good boy, a bad boy that’s his brother and five more would-be killers. Compared to the men that hold them, these boys should be saints. All given the names of the archangels. Can’t say I’m a fan of the Bible, but I know Gabriel, Michael, and was never quite sure on Raphael. So with the other names as long as you know who the good guys and the bad guys are right? I’ll give you a hint; anybody with the title of Father is evil. The big-name you’ll have to remember is Joseph Kelly known as Gabriel. The story centers on him and the love of his brothers; another rescue mission type. I keep comparing this to Sick Fux I know. When you have a great idea going, you keep rolling. Not that this novel is sweet until the end and then it’s a particular idea of sweetness. Now it does come out of nowhere but who doesn’t dream of incredible wealth.

I hope I haven’t given too much away by now. If anything the book is fantastic and Tillie Cole has to be in my top five authors. The Fallen: Genesis does its best to warn you, but you will still be shocked. If you aren’t one for this type of genre, well you might have turned a blind eye to the crimes of the so-called faithful. Not saying you have to read it but I highly recommend that you do so. Only there will be blood and the idea that all parties involved in a way have the right to do as they will. Of course, you will root for one side over the other.

As I said, the story focuses on Joseph Kelly and a tidbit on his brother James. Joseph wants two things in the world, to save his brother and devote himself to God. It’s in these two quests that lead him into serious trouble. The other characters, with one mention of a page or two, are all evil. You can see Joseph heading that way himself though he lacks the inclinations. From coming to terms about his brother and then his five adopted brothers. Of course, this grants them all books. Only with the church though we have Holy Innocents and then there are The Brethren.

Joseph is cool-headed except when he sees the true nature of The Brethren. His brother James has a pure bloodlust, and those that come after are all quite mad. Joseph or I should say Gabriel has righteousness. We all should feel as such. He only doesn’t have the power until he gets his miracle. Talk about being a walking example of the law of attraction. If this tale has any saving grace within the religious overtones, it’s merely prayer. I’m sure somebody would say prayer works with what happens near the end. Gabriel takes the role of a god-fearing man wishing to walk with the sinners. Now, what route I would have chosen instead. I see where the author was heading with Raphael being first. Which makes me curious about how the other brothers will meet, dare some form of salvation. The ending of this title though’s quite manageable indeed.

The Brethren, scary I know evil religious people like that. Again Gabriel kept calm for the most part because everyone reading this book? Let’s say you will have no problem hating these men. I shouldn’t even call them men but monsters to what they do to these seven orphans. There’s also Miller that’s pretty convenient but understandable. In a way, he was dumb, but he had no idea what had happened, and once he learned well? I know we could all use a Miller in such a line of work. The few other characters there were did serve their purpose. There was one telling Gabriel where his brother might have ended up. There were those with no names that became cannon fodder and had me hungering for the war to come. What about the other blind eyes and closed mouths who would be of service? Then there is one more character I won’t give away yet if you’re still reading up to this point, thanks.

One of my favorite parts for real is the prisoners introducing their sin of choice. Now I had several good moments and as far as The Fallen? Yeah, I want to be Gabriel, but that’s because I want that type of power. With the others, I was tempted to do some research on their names. I only know now that Raphael was a Healer but reading his title he is something different. It’s also weird that Gabriel, in his sure way, adopted a system of faith. Once more, I bring up Sick Fux. Now that was Alice in Wonderland; here we have the church’s principals.

So if I liked this book so much why only the four stars? Five stars worthy no doubt and this might reveal more about me to some extent. I should have seen it coming with it being the Catholic Church and all. I also let it slide when it came to the first title I read of this author. I should also mention I like how she has these playlists for her books. A few of the songs are on my phone this second. There will also be spoilers going forward so please go and get a copy of this book. It will convince you to read the whole series.

Anyway, this is only me; I didn’t like the sexual aspect in this one. It’s a prequel, it’s an all-boys school, not that I’m backing it in Sick Fux either. I guess I try to avoid the gay genre, does that make me a terrible person? We all have some triggers; this is mine. It’s not much, some torture but it did knock a star off. Was there anything else I didn’t like, well as a reader wanting Gabriel to go war immediately. I keep saying it reminds me of her other work, but that’s not bad at all. If the worlds were somehow connected though I wouldn’t be surprised. There was so much it this offering Tillie Cole even added a glossary. These days I’m reading Raphael and trying to come up with a good defense for his actions. I’m guessing there might be a commandment change or an amendment here or there ha.

My favorite part of this book had to be living the dream. Who among us doesn’t think about being told we have more money. Then Jeff Bezos and Mark Zuckerberg combined? To have enough power to fight the Catholic Church if need be, that’s wealth. Again I imagine Gabriel’s ideology, which got strange. One evil learning from the darker. Don’t get me wrong though; I’m for The Fallen no doubt. Let’s not get started on my history when it comes to organized faith. I’ll say that Gabriel makes it “fun” again. Even the idea he’ll let his brothers do as they please with restrictions of course. The Fallen: had me guessing from the start and left me wondering at the end. What about the space in the middle; a straight shot, the pages fly-by, and all you ask for is more? Still, none of us was in Purgatory hmm? I’m sure The Fallen indeed felt a certain kind of way.

For all the sadness and righteous anger, I feel, I know I like this book and this author. Tillie Cole is one of the few that will go to this level of taboo. If I’m lucky, my writing will get anywhere close to this level someday. If you’re not super religious or a catholic, the ideas shouldn’t bother you. Not quite an erotica, I read it for an erotica group but more like an invitation to it maybe. Or I suppose you could watch the developments about the church daily, News of The Fallen Genesis.

I Got Five On It BOOK REVIEW

I Got Five On It

Now that’s no way to talk about a lady, but you should hear how Rainey Summer Day talks about herself. Indeed how Lily White speaks about everything. Now I can’t say I’m much better at what I’ve made women say about themselves. All I know is The Five is one of the dirtiest books I’ve ever read next to Lily’s “The Director.” Even that Tillie Cole title “Sick Fux.” Anyway for the gentlemen in the audience? If less is more, you get a good idea in Pure Taboo’s film “Guidance.”

Not saying guys don’t read any Erotica. Case and point still I’m one for language, or it could be the bombardment of sex in this title. Most stories are one to five ha drawn-out sex scenes. With this, you’re hit with it over and over. It’s a mishmash of fornication. Quick and to the point but never dull. You’ll be living on the edge of your seat. Though to be fair you’ll know what’s coming or rather who. Still, you’ll only want it all the more with each page that flies by to be sure. Like the character of Rainey, you’ll only crave so much more. How this title will deliver, whatever your fix is, sex, blood, a love story.

Despite everything, keep in mind that this is a love story. The typical how is the lovely girl going to get out of this predicament. Now her paramour never being the prince. Though comparing him to everyone else, is one man better or worse? The author attempts to steer you towards one. Only as you get deeper and deeper into the secrets of Rainey, you’ll say, yeah that’s not the way it’s going to go. For others that might be a fan of C.D. Reiss’s title Forbidden. It’s not a negative by any means. You’ll be rooting for Rainey, and one of the “gentlemen” leads throughout. So yeah I might end up giving it away at some point. May I have more restraint than Rainey.

There is one secret, though and I must have been too blind to see it. Until it comes out near the end, I wish I can say I was playing doctor. No, if anything, I wanted to be a customer as evil as they were towards Rainey. With this title though Lily White has easily made my top five in this genre. While I know, that doesn’t count for much. Only this is one more title of hers that I have become addicted to *sigh*.

Now stop me if you’ve heard this one. A young girl gets into trouble with guys, though in Rainey’s case she walked right on in. Still, because of her age, we’re to assume she’s trapped, which is true enough. I give marks to the author because of this. Sadly this might show what kind of man I am. Most of these titles the girl isn’t that young. They don’t dare to cross the line. Not Lolita young but depending on the age of consent. That didn’t stop anybody with Rainey.

So Rainey is the only survivor of a murder spree. Anyway seeing as how she’s bruised herself and tied up at the time we get to meet Justin Redding. A doctor sent to evaluate her guilt or innocence of the crime in question. Even so, most of the story is Rainey telling a tale of the Connors. Four men guilty of abusing her but the youngest Rowan. Don’t get your hopes up that isn’t the five, anyway. Rowan was the one to care for her. The story switches back and forth between Justin speaking of his interview with her. Only Rainey continues the tale and then comes the somewhat bombshell.

That’s the only negative that you’ll hear from me. Again I wasn’t looking to be surprised I was rooting for the outcome the whole time. I don’t see how the author could hold back as long as she did. Also, she has a good understanding of men. Most women would hate that men think like this. Many men might hate the casting as such, but I was sitting there. No, I wasn’t falling in love with Rainey, pity yes but yeah I would be going to Hell. Every character was covered. If anything, you are only hoping that it gets raunchier. I mean with everyone that Rainey encounters in bed or out. For example, the two detectives. Justin could set his sights elsewhere. Rather than with his subject, his obsession.

The plot isn’t new. I’m always amazed at how specific authors can spin it this way and that to tell their story. Along with the different voices, each showing a particular aspect. I would never call Rainey a heroine but a survivor. How you’ll find nothing is lacking at the end, and everyone got what they deserved. I remain sad for Rainey despite it all. I’m just as guilty as all those preyed upon her.

If I were going to recommend The Five, it would be those that study killers as a hobby the real-life stories of evil. Though there is death in this, there is so much more sex I’m sugarcoating it. Why should I, it’s a five-star masterpiece as was The Director and for the record. With that book, my beef is I can’t buy a copy to put on my bookshelf. So that was a different sort of darkness that I relished.

The truth, if you read stories the real horrors that some have experienced. If you bleed for the victims and at the same time, you want to know more. You want every visceral image. This fictional account will get you there. It’s like that scene in The Silver Linings Playbook. Pat listens to Tiffany recount her many sexual exploits and Pat gets so turned on. How you only want to take the girl on the table right there. The Five itself comes with a trigger warning. If you know anything about drugs and trading sexual favors, or abuse, you might want to skip this one. Now at the same time, it might help some heal with its way. While Rainey isn’t real, the exploits are seen every day in reality.

So why the five stars? Well other than the colorful language and the constant abuse of Rainey. How does she fulfill so many dark fantasies? Again Lily White doesn’t shy away from taboo subjects. There’s light at the end of many dark tunnels? Only I choose the darkness again and again. There is only a trace amount of a redemption arc when it comes to Rainey and *spoiler alert* Rowan who she chooses. Even Rowan forced his desires on her. How she never became a saint, she only delved into worse. The same with Justin, who couldn’t keep it in his pants despite wanting to come out as Rainey’s hero. In some shape or devilish form, which is why he got his ending of course.

Dare I say it was like Winston and Julia in 1984? That I can’t help wanting a Rainey of my own, now how sick is that? I know but yes I Got Five On It.

What Will You Crave Next? Book Review

What Will You Crave Next?

To think back to my school days. Reading was considered a crime. How dare I spend hours looking through the stacks. Like I was some addict of sorts looking for a fix. Only when I found it, put my hands on it? Well to this day, I still Crave that feeling, and that’s how I found K.M. Scott. Except instead of a library of brick and mortar; Kindle is a decent tool. Don’t judge me, some things I don’t want to repeat from school days.

It’s not every day that I peruse a novel about a writer. Why does that feel like cannibalism to me, writing about writers? Not that Crave is about such a macabre subject though it is chock full of wanting flesh. Would it be better if it was a book about drugs? Yeah, it has that, and then again it’s pretty DOPE. Yeah, guess what movie I went to see after reading K.M. Scott’s work. Might I add a first for me? So why do I bring together the idea of books and movies, seeing as how I’m no Hollywood guy. Should I call Crave such, with its drug addiction, bright lights of New York and even a celebrity sex drama?

Well, I’ll instead focus on the sex because that’s what we all came here for right. Our drug addicted protagonist of Ian Anwell, trading one vice for another. Call it infatuation, obsession, hunger, no I think K.M. Scott got the title right, no doubt. Next, we have Kristina Richards, the actress. There was a movie that said that love is an acceptable form of madness, and that’s what she is. A bit bonkers when it comes to her choice in men. Ian though, can’t seem to win no matter what, because only in a world such as this can emotions such as his be tolerated. So one would think, though he’s one for Secret Lovers.

I swear that’s the song that pops into my head when I listened to Ian speak though. This book has nothing to do with cheating unless you count Ian cheating on his dealer at any point. Or how Kristina is cheating herself out of a relationship. How much of a connection there was because again there wasn’t much of let’s say a “typical” relationship. Whatever you may hold that to be. This title is like a drug, a sweet “hit,” and then you’re left with, well a craving. So there are some sequels, yes, please.

Crave is a fast-paced love affair, with how not to win the girl. In the real world, at least. Though I know, there are so many fanboys out there that think Patreon should work this way when it comes to women. Speaking of women, it’s that double standard in a way. Well if a woman does it, we call it cute. If a man does even a quarter of it, someone calls the cops. It’s Titanic only way more sex and Jack is jonesing for more than his Rose portrait.

Now the blurb spills it but just in case spoiler alert. We have Ian, two books down, fame and fortune, looking for his next hit. Drugs, drinks, but it turns out to be a dame. The way some women get to a man, how I know the feeling. It turns out that Kristina is a big fan of Ian and of course it doesn’t take her long to shimmy out of her panties. That is if she were wearing any, allow me to play Homer Simpson for a minute *drools*. Next thing you know he has his new book idea and she becomes the protagonist for his work. His muse, now what did I say about writing about a writer. I did devour Crave quickly.

One of the things I both enjoyed and despised about this book was how close to home it got. As a writer myself, I’ve written about women, and I’ve seen the same thing. I didn’t mean to get so personal, but I read a lot of erotica. So it’s albeit confusing and fictional should be the keyword. But the story itself is fantastic, and well put together. Kristina did irk me some, but that’s at the end, and you’re going to have to read it yourself to find out. Only, seeing how there are three more books in the series, I hope they give details.

The end is thought out but and I say this about many titles. It’s as if the author was anxious to get to the finish line and didn’t specify what Ian’s actions meant. I get it, but I’ve read creepier things that are glossed over by the heroine. Too close to home, though I have never gone to Ian’s level. Now at least he and “Kristina” were sleeping together on the regular before she decided to bug out on him. She showed more understanding when he explained his drug addiction.

I’m not sure how many gentlemen are into these stories, but I’m always hoping it’s not only me. For women who are under the usual sway of Erotica, Crave will get you there. So to everyone else, will it leave you yearning for more? Yes, I give K.M. Scott’s Crave four stars, and I am usually a hard sell. Yes, I will be going after the rest of the series as well. Yes, I could stop, and this beats a few other vices that I have going for me indeed.

For the guys, it’s a dream come true. Imagine the hottest actress, singer, model, or cosplayer *gulp* you know. Now imagine you can have her in bed in less than twenty-four hours. Not knocking pizza guys, plumbers, or anybody but Ian was a bestselling author. Women, you’ll like the mad about you always gets the job done aspect. Until that desire turns into obsession and next thing you know. Cut to a guy being skeevy and wanting to get away. Crave is not a “starter” book for this genre since it jumps right in. As far as romance? Well, they did have dinner on occasion. However, the intimate aspects of the relationship are often direct.

The ending, now I fell way to fast into this story. Yes, I am counting that as a sin, I suppose when I’m looking for an escape; that’s not the author’s fault. Of course, personal preference but four stars is better than not reading it at all. It didn’t scare me away at all, for now, it’s an itch, like pizza or Chinese food from my favorite spot. You won’t regret this if you are willing to make the trip to go and get it and I will. Not like you need to take my word for it. The book, not the food ha. K.M. Scott has a library of books out and how did I get so lucky to find this one out of so many. Now it’s only leading me to many more.

A surprise from more book lovers. Like how Ian found his way to his drug addiction. By someone who liked his books and tuning into Netflix to see his woman before she even became his woman to be sure. Love if that’s what it is, was or will be between them can get you higher than anything on Earth. So I would like to take faith in but baring that for myself at the moment. I have to ask myself, What Will You Crave Next?

I’m Superbad At Being Booksmart

Is it wrong to say that I didn’t see all of Superbad? In truth, I was never one for teen movies. Nowadays I would say I relate more to Cameron from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, so that reveals my age. The film Booksmart is a lot more modern and plenty stupider, but in this case, it’s not a bad thing as it’s a laugh riot. More like it would start one I’m not sure which. I watched a few people walk out on the advance screening I saw. It won’t be everyone’s cup of tea.

If you liked Superbad and said to yourself, “what if the leads were girls,” then you have Booksmart. The same basic tropes, partying, looking to hook-up and plans over the summer. Minus the fetch quest for alcohol. Some adventures got left out of the trailer. You could be one of those types that watched Freaks and Geeks. You might have said it was a more accurate representation of any high school. More than say Saved By The Bell. My school days are long past, but I buy Booksmart more than Zack Morris no question. Are you only looking for a laugh with some funny women? Kaitlyn Dever “Amy” and Beanie Feldstein “Molly” bring it. Should I be thanking Olivia Wilde and Will Ferrell instead? The movie’s cast was new to me except for Billie Lourd “Gigi,” Lisa Kudrow “Amy’s Mom” and Jessica Williams “Ms. Fine.”

As for what you know, two smart girls are all Fuddy-duddy for four years. Then they discover this netted them nothing. Yes everyone appears to have bright shining futures ahead of them as well. Who would bother to bribe their way into college, yeah I couldn’t resist. So with four years of no mistakes. Molly the pushy one and Amy the reserved intend to make all the crappy decisions they can. On one night at one party and so let the hilarity ensue. There is also a touch of The Breakfast Club. Only not resigned to the school. Yes, we are meeting several characters throughout the last day of their class. And the morning after.

Don’t get your hopes up; there are a few promises of sex. The humor is all over the place, and if you’ve ever looked at a Barbie, a particular type of way *drools*. Nope, there won’t be any nudity. Still, I wouldn’t advise bringing the kids unless their headed high school way. I would call this movie an original piece, but somebody was a fan of the genre. Again, if you put these girls against the Superbad guys, I think you would have one great movie. It would work out.

Choosing between the two leads of Molly and Amy, I couldn’t. So I pick Gigi. Lisa Kudrow doesn’t have more than ten minutes. Jessica Williams will bring a bit more naughtiness. Only Billie Lourd’s character popped up everywhere and often. Other characters were a bit underdeveloped and were the standard stereotypes. The jock, the drama geeks. The “Village Bicycle” though that’s harsh as I’m talking about a high school movie. Gossip, and rumors, attempting my impression of a movie critic?

Now there is a lack of most character stories in part to be sure. Such friendship building shows brilliantly. You see Molly and Amy, who are besties at the start; you see how they both come into their own. Then run back to each other with everything happening. Jared and Gigi were another. Especially when you hear how Jared tells it and talks about a relationship. I won’t spoil any of these for you, because I’m not that kind of guy. Second, you saw some coming, and others were like okay a twist. Some we hear about on the news, but again this was high school driven. So when “him” and “her” come together well, the ending adds a bit to the humor. As always though people always find something to complain about these days, don’t we all know right.

Again Gigi was my favorite, and I adore Molly and Amy. Only the Pizza Delivery Guy played by Michael Patrick O’Brien. He reminds me how most people look at my studies. Relax I’m a writer and when the guy was talking which was in the trailer. Let’s say he knows a lot about certain things. Principal Brown acted by Jason Sudeikis, might resonate with teachers if Ms. Fine doesn’t. Though as a guy, most guys are asking, “where is my Ms. Fine?” Principal Brown had one of the funniest scenes when it comes to the “mechanics” of sex and finances. There’s no over the top sexualization of women. Well unless we’re talking about toys again showing the range of the leads. Still, they were in the roles of high schoolers.

For a movie full of new faces for me, while not mind-blowing if I saw them in another film, I’d be that more inclined to watch it. Now I don’t mean to offend anybody, though truth be told if it wasn’t for the free ticket? It did open me up to a whole new genre since the last “teenage” oriented movies I cared to see. They were about rebellion and dystopian futures. I watched the young women from those franchises blowup into household names. For these women, they indeed show so much promise no doubt.

If this were Fandango, I would give it a four out of five stars. So that’s what eight in IMDB and don’t get me started on Rotten Tomatoes as with the state of schools. That’s something I don’t quite understand yet, not that Booksmart is confusing at all. The highest praise I can give this is the fact that I would have paid to see it. Only no promises I’ll go and see it again, but the point is I’m thinking about it. Warning, you should turn away now if you don’t want a taste of the spoilers. I’m finally going to lay down here.

As for a favorite scene, I’ll have to go with the pizza place because it reminds me of my job. Not pizza, again writing and how the guy explained all the things that could happen to Molly and Amy. You figured that was way too much information, I’ve heard the term skeevy for a lot less. Again Gigi, nothing but love, still with the funniest scene involves something of hers. The aftermath of Molly and Amy as dolls. Amy is getting into herself with the prospect of remaining in such a form. The ending is a bit lacking but quite sweet, one of those gushy moments. I laughed during the credits; the wrong generation ha.

Unless you’re sure of the “maturity” of your kids, they should stay home. Now as for those first-year students and of course, seniors. Both high school and life will laugh their heads off at this movie. Your grandpa might have a few choice words. I’m not that old. Now the Mothers and daughters who have that BFF type of relationship? Wow was Molly sort of like Amy’s mom; what Amy’s actual mom did with that panda. Hell, what Amy did with that panda. Something they should have shown, okay I’m back they were good girls. Despite Amy getting arrested for helping everybody. The only thing I can say I didn’t like about this movie is along the lines of standing with Molly. That everybody getting drunk, high, and plenty stupid got into college. Imagine Modern Family. Haley and Dylan are getting into the same school as Alex and not only that but graduating with honors.

Of course who was looking for realism? Though Booksmart has a basis in reality or I hope so but my time is long past. Perhaps that’s the best thing this movie did is give me feelings of nostalgia for my days in school. For now, at least I can’t say I’m Superbad At Being Booksmart.

“Sell My Soul” To Who A Book Review

Sell My Soul To Who

Isn’t it funny that people are supposed to give their souls to this deity or that one? Whereas it’s only the evil ones that want to make a “decent” deal. Not that this story is evil, sexy, salacious, some would say this is my dream? An excellent beginning to a series that is on my must-read lists. Five stars without a doubt and I wish there were more. Didn’t I say series and if Jade West keeps this up, wow.

How dare I say the setup for the story is somewhat familiar. It’s what I imagine happens, in reality, all the time. Indeed being a guy, I can tell you of a couple of pornos, that start with the pretty girl needing something. Always a man willing to oblige. Except that’s only for a day or career. Right off the bat though “Sell My Soul” by Jade West demands sixty days though it won’t take that long to finish this story. However trust, I read this in less than a week. Now this review, yeah, I’m not giving anything away here. Sixty days to make all your financial troubles disappear. Moreover, according to Paige Emmerson, that’s more than worth it, for the love of sisters.

As fast as I fell for Paige, Brandon is the man I want to be. Talk about the eye, the expertise, the excellence in his character. If you made the story about him running his successful business, I would have still read it. Sell My Soul reminded me a tiny bit of The Art of the Pimp. Only this is fiction, but as I said, I believe this does happen to a certain extent. Although you don’t have to feel bad about it, reading this novel; you don’t feel anything. Well turned on, twisted, and thankful that you found this story between Paige and Brandon. Wow, this lifestyle, that leaves you wanting so much more. I too was one of those made panting and salivating.

No, you didn’t think I was going to compare myself to Paige? How I want a woman like her or more. To have the ability to make deals like that. I could have liked the business model more than the story. It’s not an original concept to be sure, but the author makes it theirs in this tale. I imagine like so many of the female characters in this novel one question. How many women right now are saying that they would never do something like Paige’s deal. Only then, there’s the big price tag.

Of course, you’re not here for my philosophy on the subject. You’re here to find out why I love Paige so much. Because of how Brandon felt for her, not Rebecca Lane, his new toy. Not the cast of mean girls which there were some, could measure up to Paige. Brandon himself, what do you call it when a man gushes over another? All I can say is that he’s the man and I can’t imagine having such swagger. He’s who I aspire to become.

Paige Rowan Emmerson, now if any fellas are reading this, I have two words for you “Reality Kings.” The end, pretty much the whole story. Ladies will you stop me if you’ve heard this one. Pretty college girl, family issues, needs money and sells herself off. Novel sounds like the usual fanfare correct? I suppose the author wanted you to find some investment in Paige. Why wouldn’t I be into, a brunette, innocent, with dirty leanings, that’s my type. Other than that she is an incredibly strong character and Paige has you wanting to root for her. I mean right down to the ending I was ready to get the next book, what can I say a guy has been busy, but this story stays.

Much like Brandon Grant, while I’m somewhat used to the alpha male motif in this genre. There are less than one handful of men I’ve wanted to emulate, and Brandon again is living the dream. A businessman who creates porn. Pimps girls, and punches out drunks and druggies. Men daring to mess with his property, and other than his brother, there is no mention of some criminal empire. What is it with women and the whole kingpin dynamic I ask myself sometimes. He also has that I don’t believe in love mentality. Yes, I’m a stalker, plus I have a ton of money. While the payoff drives him and Paige together, there’s so much more.

Like so many of the characters in this book like Paige’s sister, Phoebe May. The most current plaything. I did not forget Rebecca Lane who is but one more example of what Brandon can do to someone. Some characters only get a page or two. You never feel like you’re missing out. Not on motivations, their lives, and those they choose to associate with on the daily. Your heart will break for Paige at times.

As for breaking I could give Sell My Soul a few more stars. However, the five on Goodreads will have to do. I felt this story so much. So if you don’t want any spoilers, you can stop right here and go and buy yourself a copy. Can I not say anything negative about this book? It will be HARD which is how I felt during a few of the scenes. Just let me attempt to control myself right here.

The beach scene between Brandon and Paige and then the guys that she also met there. I don’t think you will see stuff like that on the show “What Would You Do.” Still, I’m somewhat surprised some adult entertainment company hasn’t run with it. Nearly every moment between Brandon and Paige was awesome. Usually, with stories like this, there will be a bit of blah. The author is waiting to take it to the next level in the next book; I was riding on the edge of my chair with this title. Rebecca Lane is caught running her mouth about her experiences to an innocent Paige. After everything that happened, we see how she has become. A true submissive to Brandon’s overwhelming sexual mystique somehow.

Characters flushed out as they were a smidge more backstory and build up. Number one because I was intrigued. The second because like most of these stories, why this knows basis in reality, again I question. Do women think like this and dare dream guys don’t like it? Brandon for all his bravado did for a moment have to rely on family ties. He sounded like the self-entitled rich boy. While it was true, it again fell into the realm of money. Can do anything still right; yeah? What was I complaining about now? The ending wasn’t so much a problem as the idea that I wanted more right away. I guess that’s more my fault but I know I’m getting the series without question.

For my first read from Jade West, I am all in, Sell My Soul is terrific work. It was right on my level which should be somewhat of a scary thing I suppose. Certain books will do that to you. I can compare the overall, concept of the title. The author made this story and that entire premise belong to her alone. Nevertheless, I have answered my question as far as book two and three, Sell My Soul To Who.

An Ending To The “Depredation” Book Review

An Ending To The Depredation

There should have been, but I will get to that. For now, I will start at the beginning. As a matter of personal taste, I’m not a fan of Depredation title-wise. Still this story written by Natalie Bennett is solid. Nothing to write home about, not that Harper Lane would see much of that in this title. Neither at the beginning or the ending. I can’t stress the finish enough. Being a writer myself and all it can be stressful. However, Depredation or as a matter a fact most books in the erotica genre never do that. So yeah I will shut up now about women, and they’re everyday lives.

Well except Harper’s and that’s what we’re here for right? The girl getting kidnapped by the big bad and the aftermath. Which is pretty different than most and it’s not as if I’m giving anything away. Other than all the gory details of this sweet victimized pinup, yeah I said that. I’m a guy. The types of guys that read these stories and what; get turned on. Not as much by this as others, for example, Whispers In The Dark. Anyway, that was done over a more extended period and had the semi-traditional ending. I must applaud the author for keeping the focus on Jayce and Harper. Even more so the prison where Harper found herself. That’s a bit of originality. The victim is held in one area and not always moving in some way.

Now there is hope, only as I said before it becomes pretty different than in most stories. Still not giving anything away. But how to make a Monster 101. Furthermore, I wish there were a little more on Jayce as far as his madness. I imagine though a taste of Harper’s horror. It’s not the thing they put up when missing girls somehow make it back. Natalie Bennett did a superb job of touching that world. Parts of Harper’s life for two years, and then some more. Still makes me sad, the “then some.” I was looking forward to that payoff and payback, and well, that’s why we’re at four stars instead of five now.

On the flip side, what do I know? We’re going to see won’t we if you continue reading, but I’m not Depredation. The book held me from start to tripping over the finish line. Although to be fair I am inspired to give the author another chance. What can I say I’m a lot more merciful than our two main characters in this tale. Though you would never expect this from them, perhaps it’s strange. I wish Harper made it hurt more. Or at least we should get to read about it some, another chapter?

Harper Roseanne Lane didn’t stand out to me. Other than her type but she’s not the heroine. She’s not the vengeful angel but more. The everyday girl, and that’s the thing. That there was nothing spectacular about her, plain jane.

However, the way that she’s brought to life by the author through the eyes of her kidnapper. Not surprising that she’s unique. How I didn’t see it but when it came to the pain? The gore made Harper so much more visceral. The beginning and then the aftermath of her captivity was like night and day. Still, I keep going back to the fact that I wish there were more. Instead of the rush to put it to bed. Leaving me with a feeling of “what.” Not a cliffhanger but more of “that’s it.” You could write a whole other book or at least a novella about how she took her vengeance. Yes, it gets bloody somewhat near the end.

If you want fear though? Is it scary that I enjoy seeing through the eyes of the villain? I have a plethora of reasons for that. Here’s Jayce Charles Haywood, the clear-minded, I have a regular life. However incredible darkness sort of individual. I could only relate to his choice of Harper as I like the same look. How many women have I sent heading for the hills so far? Which is why I can see why this genre is female dominated. Anyway, Jayce was fleshed out more than his victim somewhat. So I can say I didn’t like him, but we shouldn’t I mean of course. Only and I can’t stress this enough. As “painful” as it was at times, it’s an excellent read.

There was a tidbit about other characters. Nevertheless, the standout would have to be Jayce’s wife Minnie which I find original. I can’t say I have read much in terms of the villains that have spouses. Well, the main characters anyway. While she wasn’t a willing participant, she still acted as a partner. Yes, pretty wifey was an accomplice to Jayce’s perversions. To a certain degree which was quite deplorable. That was a breath of fresh air; for a while. I don’t want to spoil the novel any more than I have now. I think it would have changed things up if she spoke a chapter in the tale. Minnie had an integral role and also gave me an idea for a story of mine.

As always I considered five stars for Natalie Bennett’s “Depredation,” but it wasn’t quite there. Rest assured that four is worth it and I’m about to go into spoiler mode. So if you want to stop here, that would be wise. Also if you are one for the positive but this is only me ranting about what went wrong. Know that I have no right to judge, but I have a few things on my mind. My brain *sigh* is a scary place I know.

The mental aspect was remarkable from the beginning. Showing what it could be like for someone like Harper that suffered the way she did. I would make a pretty lousy therapist. Because of what those stories do to me at times. The idea that you don’t get it all with Harper. Albeit with some of the most critical moments in her captivity. Your body begins to react to the pain she is going through. In every effort to somehow make someway for herself. Before the ending where the story trips up with Jayce. We get a nice bit of gore with Minnie and Harper’s wrath. Along with everything that she went through suffering so much.

The end though, right there. Time to break out the party favors and let’s see how far she’s going to take this. To become nothing; an excellent beginning and then a no thank you. As if the reader can’t handle what’s about to go down. Is it not the same for women I wonder? All the sexual depravity on the woman no doubt but now it’s the man’s turn. Is that a turn-off or something? Could be me but I wanted Jayce to pay. I suppose I could do with more story all the way around. I want to like Harper more. Somehow while again keeping everything practically in that room for so long. If to see more of her outside of it or in her house of horrors for Jayce, former assailant now victim.

Oh and the title change. I can see why it was so, but between you and me I liked the old title better. Being honest and on that note Whispers In The Dark by LeTeisha Newton is a quite detailed version of this title.

I’m looking forward to reading even more titles from Natalie Bennett. How many are said to have connections with the one I finished? Which would be awesome and maybe I’ll find, An Ending To The Depredation.

Episode 212 ~Tooth Of Will’s Smile~

Tuesday, January 29, 2019

Episode 212 ~Tooth Of Will’s Smile~

Dear Future Wife,

How To Make One Million Dollars, better yet, what would I feel if I had it already, what if Publishers Clearing House rolled up right now, published a book, maybe having a publishing house one day? A smirk, a dreamy sigh, but a smile, there was a time. B III was my family, and I think about how I lived back then and what he and I needed, joy, faith, hope, of course, I call you love, but a smile wasn’t required.

Even now, my love, I can give you as many smiles as you would like, I’m sure if my firstborn weren’t eating, licking, or guarding he would wear one now, I want our children to be happy every single day. I am too but wearing a smile… THEY say it takes more muscles to frown than to smile but why do you think I’m so strong, trust me carrying a collection of grins is no easy task which is why I give them away so quickly. Maybe I want people to see this beautiful family we are, did we ever discuss the tooth fairy situation, and I go back to that quote from “Deep Down.”

“Nothing in the world is the way it ought to be. It’s harsh and cruel. But that’s why there’s us – champions. It doesn’t matter where we come from, what we’ve done or suffered, or even if we make a difference. We live as though the world is as it should be, to show it what it can be.” Angel

Is it wrong that I keep my smile from the children, again Triple B doesn’t care (developing cataracts, poor thing) but when the others are giving money to the ice cream man, imagining the story as I read to them, or wearing a mask on Halloween? Did you mind, the first time we kissed; like my B III, I can eat plenty of your cooking (the big piece of chicken) or how about waking up in the morning beside me. Now I want to hide my smile even from myself or like most things I do it differently because… yeah I know you’ll tell me not to worry when I look in a mirror and when I call you beautiful, even with my mouth it doesn’t make it any less real, your smile matters more.

Mine though, well, I still wear glasses for a reason, I wouldn’t fool around with Lasik but this is America and being a successful author, running a business, having a family, I’m happy even if the pearly whites won’t say it, but I suppose one day I’ll “try.” Can I show you what I feel without it, a requirement, to laugh, to talk, and hopefully we don’t go back to a vampire or werewolf craze though I liked Twilight, Blood and Chocolate, Underworld, and let’s not forget zombies Warm Bodies, yours and mine this is happiness, Tooth Of Will’s Smile.

I Will Have No Fear

Love The Way You Run

My heart beats faster and faster, as though it can escape me, soon I almost mutter aloud and yet she sees, one of the many and if she thinks I can turn around and face the rest of them as her voice breaks through. “How about today, Mr. Berton” Ms. Everard tutted, how she surely must have gone into the wrong profession, but who better to teach a man about life and death but a woman but this was Math.

How long have I been staring at her, could I count the breaths that I missed and apparently I must be missing a brain, I must be the Tin Man, minus the ax as well… one more reason I couldn’t turn around. Her eyes as brown as the dirt I wanted to bury myself under, was I not one more dead man and yet it’s dead things that make others grow, as hard as the board I haven’t touched in ages, please let me just hack away and build a coffin. Yeah but my heart won’t allow it, or that’s what I keep telling myself, fighting to stay alive though I was already in Hell, though nobody would know it with my complexion but hers?

The dead can be monsters, lucky for her, though I could see the rivers of red run along her tanned cheeks, the small scars healing as though she met a beast long before me, though her soft pink lips called me anything but her worst nightmare. “Mr. Berton” she cried as she walked over to me, her black top barely containing her but it could be worst, if it were her heart I was after, and then men chase skirts, the tigress’s one she was wearing, no I would instead trace the black heart tattoo along her cheek or the designs along her wrist. Surely she must be crazy to approach me, killing me like this or bringing me back to life, I would choose the former rather than face the class once again in this state, I just couldn’t.

Saved by the bell, as the class began to leave, my backpack not big enough to hold me, no EMT’s or coroner’s to pronounce what I already knew, was it wrong for me to even wish for a cop, death might come that much quicker. No, I wouldn’t need that, as Ms. Everard, cautioned “see you tomorrow,” now honestly I am no track star, but I am surely going to give it a chance as I ran out of there as fast as my feet cared to carry me now.

If I didn’t see her, her, or even her, why was I still going to school if my only job prospect was looking at the ground, knowing the moment I looked up, I would be knocked off of my feet, better to find the whole now, get it over with.

Better a cabin in the woods than being eaten alive, a careless whisper, a kiss, the scent of perfume, there was no fighting this, I wanted to believe, as I scurried along, call me a coward, or worse one of the infected. Rage, at them, at myself, hell that’s what I felt, but it’s nature, even the animals that have no concept of it, knew it, and here I thought people were supposed to prefer the privacy of their own homes. That’s where I was headed, maybe I could attribute my sickness to anything but the butterflies in my stomach, though I doubted even Noah had the problems I was feeling running through my veins.

No, they will not make a monster out of me, idle hands being the devil’s playthings and all but I didn’t have anyone to call, no money to spend, and while violence was far more accepted, it could never be condoned. If I could be like the cool kids, I could probably get a drink somewhere, maybe I could smoke something, it might even make me that much braver and live or die, it wouldn’t matter in the end perhaps.
Some idiot laughing on the ground and the pretty girls’ laughter brings him back to life, and he’ll only fall down again, for her I suppose or she for him, why don’t I find more joy in my immunity to all of this? Sickness is never a good thing, and that’s what the world would make of me as I ran that much faster, I must look like a lunatic and if only they knew they would have me committed by sundown. Why couldn’t this all exist in the dark, that’s where the monsters were supposed to come out and play, but where was I headed now, there were no bright lights where I was going if I kept my computer off of my obsession.

I would make myself a sacrifice for the good of the world, the sole survivor but to what end, and her’s, had God chosen to curse me so, as I stared and in the next second wondered who put that pole there as I crashed.

Light as a feather but only a board, was written on one of the books she carried but she did not stop, perhaps I was already a ghost, and none of them could see me, even if she was attuned with the spirit world as her library would suggest. It would make sense the way I was haunting her, some might say stalking, others would make me out to be a creep, nobody ever saw me until far too late.

Not good enough for Heaven and not bad enough for Hell and yet I was surrounded by angels and the devils that would have them, if but a word from me, after all, a ghost still needed a place to haunt some nights. It would explain a lot, I didn’t eat much, nobody ever heard a word I said, well at not women and some women loved to pretend that I would jump out at them when they least expected, it’s like being an alien only that beast would be my heart crawling its way out of my chest. Just it wouldn’t be today if I could make it back to my haunting ground without any more bruises or scars.

At least that’s how the guys saw me, maybe I was surrounded by ghosts or angels, and every guy saw me as a necromancer, I was paid to bring girls to life, and those men got to “love” them, I could be the grim reaper. Only it was grim I would ever see that girl again, her burgundy hair, those greenish-brown eyes, her snow-white skin, clad in black top similar to my teacher’s and blue jeans that would have to be peeled off of her slowly. Much like my dark skin if I ever got the chance, she was probably looking into the tarot now, coming up with a million reasons why we couldn’t be together in some way maybe.

I could help her out with that, but I will be damned if I was chasing after such a beauty like the beast I could not choose to be for the life of me, or for the life of her, and that was one million and one if she could hear me. We didn’t belong together because I was already dead or would be I imagined all the more as I saw my reflection in a puddle, yes I decide what I was going to be or was, a zombie.

Some zombies were only interested in brains, others were connoisseurs of the flesh, and while I could admit there was something about brunettes, I was not picky from wanting a dark-haired single mother, to a girl interested in the next realm. Still lacking my brain, why else would I feast on or find any thought I had elsewhere and not on the tip of my tongue, I must be starving.

Werewolves would lock themselves in cages, vampires had one coffin, but what could hold a zombie, the cure would be a million times worse than the virus, the ground may not change on the path, but these people were walking obituaries. Feasting upon each other time and again, some for their whole lives, and they pitied me… maybe they were right, but I accepted what I was a long time ago, and how dare I take somebody with me, zombies have mobs, as for me… I wanted to tear her apart, but I wouldn’t turn around and follow my black magic woman, I wouldn’t taste those juicy pink lips, bite or even nibble upon her.

Too many people had taken bites from my brain already, no wonder I couldn’t remember what it was to be like them or at the very least what I pretended to be because what I was could not be allowed anywhere. Let the disease run rampant all over the globe, I would run, I would hide, better than being one of them, no never, I kept telling myself, until I turned blue in the face, but I was so close to the house now. A zombie that would not bite, because no the world did not need more of me running around and I’m sure there were enough women that wanted to blow my head off for a few reasons.

What kind of monster thinks that; not a zombie that’s for sure they fear nothing, most monsters don’t, but there is something that is full of fear as I ran faster and I saw her standing there waiting to be let in. Have I had it all wrong, as I was clad in my black hoodie with matching jeans and boots, staring at the brunette vixen, cleaning supplies in hand, not that it would be enough; am I a psycho?

I’m only a man, and there was nowhere to run and nowhere to hide now, but she was just the maid, not that I would think of her in such simplistic terms, not with a body to die for, the thought kept replaying in my mind. My would-be prey who was making sure to clean all the evidence of her arrival, she would be all that was left for me, the only picture taken in her soft brown eyes, a t-shirt, a pair of shorts, and the matching underwear I bought her for Christmas once.

A psycho was always prepared, only there were no axes, no playroom, not a respectable torture device to be had, gloves, machete, or a chainsaw, and they say that humans are made in the image of God. While I still wasn’t a believer in such the things I wanted were less than holy without a doubt and would damn me for all eternity, well damned if I do or damned if I don’t, so why was I the one backing away looking to get out. She was only a girl, but any would-be man would tell you that can be the scariest thing in the universe easily; witch, siren, succubus, and yet somehow here she was on her knees keeping me at bay easily enough.

“Is there anything else I can do?” Kaelyn asked, probably reading my darkest intentions as she hurried towards the door, but my hands were shaking as I reached out to hand her the money and she was on her way, safe and sound. As I was lying on my bed, throw in alone, and all would be well except for the knock on my door, Kaelyn forgetting something I wanted to believe but there was nothing there and everything, it was in the air. My next question should have been how did all these ladies get in my house and taking hold of me, but I didn’t need to ask who they were, Aphrodite runs deep these days; if anything I should be flattered but terrified would have to do.

“Who do you think you are,” Cupid asked me, already there was an arrow pointing straight at my heart, as the women held me down and telling them I was a Titan might be the wrong answer as I was surrounded by these gods and goddesses of love. “Now you take the time to find me” I grunted, as they moved forward hungrily, staring at everything that womankind chose to ignore forever and a day.

“Our worst nightmare” Eros chuckled, putting two fingers to my forehead and suddenly I was filled with visions, broken hearts as far as my eyes could see, I indeed was one to be despised so why bother to apologize. On the other hand, they owed me that much and a lot more but what made me think they were interested in me as a person, not when I saw those fangs and claws come out.

Finally, my hands were traveling to the loveliest of places, of course, they were ripped from my wrists, with all sympathies to the Devil, no more worries for any of these gods jobs at this point as I found my voice. I screamed as I felt their jaws, their claws tearing me apart piece by piece, ripping into me, my final love letter and it was being written in blood, or is this why they wanted me all along. Even now I couldn’t help but find the beauty in even this or at least one part of me continued to believe so despite being made into a buffet for over a dozen or so gods of old, that didn’t understand that love has now changed.

I could have even been one of them I sighed or was that my last breath as my heart was finally stolen and Aphrodite smacked her lips holding it in her hands announcing then “I Love The Way You Run.”